Snape Gets Spirited Away
by MsNita
Summary: Professor Severus Snape gets spirited away when he is on a mission with two fellow Deatheaters. He enters a whole new world and finds out so many things that he didn't even know about the Asian culture. He is then asked to serve a trio of frightening, yet strange bath guests, and their unusual, quirky pet. DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters of Harry Potter or Spirited Away.


**Okay, a girlfriend and I were talking and we both thought that this would be a fun story to do. Now, there is going to be quite a few changes in the plot line. I hope that anybody who reads it enjoys it either way. I do not own any of the characters of Harry Potter or Spirited Away. Those rights belong to JK Rowling and Miyazaki.**

**...**

Snape sighed heavily as he followed two Death Eaters, Amycus and his sister, Alecto, to where they'd find another tool of their Dark Lord's. They were telling him not to be such a spoil sport as it should be an honor to serve the Dark Lord in such a way. He wasn't entirely sure whether that was true or not. Honestly, he didn't even want to be here at all. They were strange territory, everything had an Asian feel to it. Snape had never been here before, nor had he seen anyplace quite like it. He grew mildly concerned when he noticed his companions were distracted by something. He followed them cautiously until they stopped at one of the shops. Snape watched as Amycus eyed a feast that was laid out, checking to see where the owner was. Snape knew something was strange when the Carrows started gorging themselves on the food before them. He tried to get their attention, reminding them of the reason that they were there. However, they continued stuff their faces, completely ignoring him.

Snape sighed in defeat as he briefly watched them eat everything that they could reach. He turned to the way they came and continued on. He just didn't get it, he knew that the Carrows weren't that bright, but he never knew them to behave like such pigs. He actually expected that more from Crabbe and Goyle, Sr., maybe even Greyback. Something about this place unnerved him greatly as everything seemed off. Walking up a set of stairs, Snape looked up to see a massive building. Possibly might be a bath house I've heard so much about, he thought as he looked up at it. Upon hearing a bell, he looked over the side of a bridge leading to the building curiously, to see a train. How peculiar, Snape thought casually. He suddenly sensed someone was watching as he turned to see a strange looking boy that he could sense magic from.

"Hello," Snape said hesitantly.

"You really shouldn't be here," the boy replied. "You need to leave before the sun's set."

"I take it something bad happens if I'm not gone," Snape stated, groaning as the boy nodded.

Snape didn't waste any time as he turned to leave, quickly making his way down the stairs. He raced back to where the Carrows were when he left them. What he had found was not at all what he expected. Placing an urgent hand on Amycus's shoulder, he was shocked when a pig turned to look at him. He tried backing up, only to back into a beam when he saw the same of Alecto. How could I not have noticed that that the food was laced with potions, he thought. He wasn't going to wait for them as he decided to run back the way they had originally come. He raced past ghosts that were coming out from practically everywhere. Nothing could stop him from leaving this place, except maybe for a growing river that he slipped and fell into. He crawled out, sputtering water before turning to see a ferry coming in his basic direction. I can't take off, he thought morosely, what if there are Muggles on that ferry? Carefully, he snuck away to an alleyway where he hugged his knees to his chest in attempt to get warm. He looked up to see the boy walking over to him.

"I thought I could make it in time," Snape admitted.

"It is all right, you're not the first to be stuck here," the boy stated.

"I bet I'm the first wizard," Snape said with a small smile.

"Actually, no you're not," the boy replied.

"Oh," Snape muttered sheepishly, shivering from the cold.

"You might want to eat this," the boy mentioned, handing him a berry.

"Something bad will happen if I don't, huh?" Snape asked as the boy nodded. With a sigh, Snape took the berry and ate it. "Ugh, that's sour." He was surprised when the boy pushed him against the wall and hovered over him, seeing a bird in the sky. "It's looking for me, isn't it?"

"Humans aren't usually welcome here," the boy answered.

"What's your name?" Snape asked.

"Kohaku, you know, you're the first to ask all of these intuitive questions."

"I guess I'm just lucky when it comes to knowing what to ask?"

"Or you've learned how to ask the right questions."

"You make it sound as I've been to Wonderland," Snape chuckled.

"Come on, they'll be looking for you," Kohaku stated, offering his hand. Snape took as he pulled himself up. "I will say this, you're probably the first person I have dealt with that didn't have trouble standing up."

"I'll take it," Snape laughed. "I'm Severus."

"Come Severus," Kohaku chirped, taking Snape's hand and rushing off to who knows where.

Snape tried to keep up with him as he kept running. He looked to either side of him as they raced past buildings and restaurants before entering a storage building for food, where Snape was amazed by the size of a mere fish they passed by. That thing's big enough to try and turn the squid in the lake into calamari, Snape thought. When they entered a massive pig pen, Snape held his hand over his nose as he eyed the number of pigs. Oh, I highly doubt the Carrows envisioned their untimely demise as being eaten for supper, he thought as they raced on. When they finally stopped, Snape nearly collapsed as he tried to catch his breath.

"Ah, cramp, cramp, cramp!" Snape wheezed.

"Best hurry and catch your breath," Kohaku stated.

"Well, I'm sorry, I'm not as young as I once was," Snape gasped.

"You'll be fine," Kohaku commented, "just take a deep, slow breath and then let it out slowly."

Snape did this and was surprised to find that breathing had indeed gotten a little easier. It must be something in the air, he pondered. Slowly, he stood up as hid from view as he peeked past Kohaku to see what the boy was looking at. He saw a myriad of creatures walking across the bridge to what he had earlier assumed was the bath house. He could hear people greeting them as they came.

"I'm going to need you to hold your breath as we cross the bridge," the boy mentioned, "as long as you hold your breath, they won't be able to see you."

"Alright, sounds simple enough," Snape answered.

Kohaku guided him over to the bridge and cued him along the way. Snape couldn't help but gawk at the frog men greeting the creatures at the front of the bridge. I suppose that even us wizards don't know about all of the creatures that exist, he wondered silently as they crossed the bridge. He had recognized some of the creatures that were crossing the bridge from what he had read in books and from classes at Hogwarts. He was mildly alarmed when he saw the normal-looking frog racing their way in a tiny top and speak Kohaku's name. He continued to hold his breath as they chatted. Kohaku tried to persuade to the conversation to their destined side of the bridge, however, the little amphibian refused to move as he chatted away. How much can this thing talk? Snape thought in exasperation, He talks more than anyone I know! Snape was beginning to struggle holding his breath, but tried to hang on as it seemed the conversation was finally drawing to a close. Kohaku and Snape were at a loss when Snape gasped as the frog tried to take off only to bolt straight into Snape's gut.

"A human?" the frog gasped.

Kohaku bolted, taking Snape with him as they made their way across the bridge at a pace he only thought possible on a broom. They went through a tiny door in the wall before hiding in a garden outside the main building. Everyone inside was panicking as they ran around, looking for Kohaku.

"Well, so much for me holding my breath," Snape said sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just a reflex I have from getting hit there on occasion."

"It's alright, I think that you would have been the first to make it if that hadn't of happened," he replied.

"What should I do now?" Snape asked.

Kohaku touched his brow as an image formed in his head of where he needed to go and what he needed to do. "Do you understand?" He then asked.

"Go to the boiler room, and ask Kamaji for a job," Snape replied.

With that, Kohaku stood and said, "I need to leave you now." Snape watched as he entered the building and stayed hidden until the traffic had died down before leaving through the secret door that he was shown. Snape instinctively backed against the wall as he gazed over the edge. Oh how I hate heights, Snape thought, the only other person who knew that took that to his grave. Cautiously, he took the stairs down as he held a baited breath. He was relieved to see that he had almost made it to solid, stone steps, instead of these wooden ones that made him entirely uncomfortable. He was about to breath in a sigh of relief until the third step from the bottom broke beneath him. He screamed out before his face slammed into the concrete landing. He laid there for a moment, sprawled over the bottom two steps as he groaned in pain. Ow, he thought, I think I broke my nose. Slowly, he crawled over to the wall of the landing and backed up against it as his eyes watered up a bit. He gently touched his nose to make sure it wasn't broken, it still hurt, but nothing felt broken and he didn't feel blood. He paused in shock when he heard a window open above him and looked up to see another frogman sticking his head out with a cigarette in hand. Snape crawled over to the second set of stairs as quietly as possible while the frogman enjoyed himself a smoke. Snape held his breath for dear life as he got steady footing before racing down the stairs as safely as he felt possible. When he reached the final landing, he felt it was finally safe enough to breath a sigh of relief.

He looked at the door that Kohaku told him to enter. Nervously, he opened the door and walked in, steam blowing in his face. He paused at the corner to peak out. To his surprise, little fuzz balls carrying coal to an opening mouth of flame. He watched as an older man fiddled around with everything around him. Snape's eyes went wide as he saw a third and then a fourth arm come out from nowhere. Spider-man, Snape thought with a dry chuckle, no way, not happening, I know that Hagrid's pet spiders will eat anything that comes too close to their nest. I'm not being eaten by a complete stranger, Snape thought as he backed away. He gasped when steam blew against his back. All right, Snape thought calmly, you have to ask him for a job, Kohaku said so. Snape walked out, gathering his courage with surprising ease.

"Excuse me, sir," he called out. The one he assumed was Kamaji turned and looked at him curiously. "I'm in need of a job, and I was informed that you could get me one."

"I have all the workers I need," Kamaji growled, "the places is covered with soot. All I need to do is cast a spell on it when the need for more workers arrives. Go somewhere else."

So these are soot sprites, Snape thought as he looked down at the myriad of fuzz balls surrounding him. He sighed in defeat as he said, "Where can I go? Kohaku told me to come here and ask you for a job." Snape watched the soot sprites as they continued their work as one tripped over their own foot to be crushed under the coal it was carrying. Snape went over to pick up the coal when he saw the sprite struggling underneath it. It was heavier than he thought, but he was still able to pick it up without much trouble. He watched as the sprite ran back into the hole it came from and then turned watching the others as they took their coal to the burner.

When he was about to set the coal down, Kamaji growled, "Finish what you started human."

Snape looked at him surprised, but followed the sprites to the opening maw of flame, tossing the coal into it like they did. Snape was mildly shocked when he saw the other sprites purposely dropping the coal on themselves. "Now hold on," Snape snapped, "I can't just help all of you, I'm only one man."

"You runts get back to work," Kamaji barked, "and you, you can't go stealing someone else's job, go somewhere else."

"I wasn't trying to steal anyone's job," Snape defended as the sprites griped at Kamaji while surrounding Snape's feet.

"Lunchtime," someone called.

Kamaji turned to the person talking to him as he took something before yelling, "Mealtime, take a break!"

Snape gawked as a raccoon dog person started tossing what looked like star-shaped candies to the sprites, which they grabbed greedily. Snape swallowed reflexively when the raccoon dog turned his way and gasped. "A human! You're the one everyone's looking for!" Snape backed into the wall behind him as the raccoon dog pointed at him maliciously.

"He's my nephew," Kamaji said with his mouth full.

"You're nephew?" The raccoon dog questioned.

"He says he needs job, but I already have help," Kamaji continued, "Maybe you can take him to Yubaba, he's strong despite his size."

Thanks, Snape thought sourly as he glared at Kamaji. He then watched as the raccoon dog recoiled into himself uncertain. "I don't know, Yubaba really doesn't _like_ humans."

"What if I gave you this roasted newt?" Kamaji teased.

"Oh, now that is racist, just because I'm a raccoon dog doesn't mean that I think with my stomach! However, I won't turn down a good bribe." With that, the raccoon dog pocketed his newt.

Kamaji looked to Snape and says, "If you want get a job, you'll have to speak to Yubaba, she's the head honcho around here. Just follow Hibaru, and he will take you there."

"Thank you," Snape said before running over to Hibaru.

"You might want to leave your shoes," Hibaru sighed as he gathered the basket he was carrying.

"Alright," Snape replied as he took off his shoes and socks, leaving them where the sprites eyed them curiously. He then continued to follow Hibaru as he lead him to an elevator. Snape watched beams in the pass until the elevator stopped, and hid behind Hibaru as they looked up at a giant white man... thing.

"The radish spirit," Hibaru said happily. The spirit mumbled something as he pointed up and Hibaru replied, "I'm so sorry, but this is as high as this elevator goes. If you would follow me, I'd be happy to take you to an elevator that will." Snape stayed close behind Hibaru as the radish spirit follows them. Before he could even say something, Hibaru whispered, "Don't worry, radish spirits are normally peaceful." Snape nodded as he continued to follow him to Yubaba's office. Just as they were about to get into an elevator, a frogman called Hibaru's name. Snape hid behind the radish spirit as it seemed to know what to do. Hibaru distracted the frogman as the spirit grabbed the handle and pulled.

Snape stood there as he waited for the elevator to come to a halt. When it finally did, both Snape and the radish spirit looked out into an ornate hallway before the spirit backed up into the elevator. Snape bowed out of respect as the spirit tilted his head in acceptance. He walked up to a pair of golden doors that had head shaped knockers. Cautiously, he took a knocker and knocked twice. He jumped back in surprise when the eyes roll back before the knocker says, "You're the first to have enough sense to knock." Snape was on guard when the doors opened on their own volition. "Well, come in," he heard an older woman say. Where am I suppose to go? Snape thought as he looked down the dark hallway. "I said, come _in_," she growled before a force grabbed his top and pulled him in. He grasped the invisible hands that pulled at his top and was dragging him to what he could only assume was Yubaba's office. He tried to catch himself when he was pulled through the last door, but ended up falling flat on his face in front of the fireplace. He groaned as he sat up and rubbed his nose gingerly. He turned to see an older witch sitting at a desk, counting money.

"Excuse me, ma'am," he muttered, "I'm in need of a job." He stared at her curiously as she looked up to him before she lifted her hand and moved it like she was opening an invisible zipper. He was shocked as it felt like his lips literally zipped shut. As he tried to open his mouth he thought, How did she _do_ that? That's so cool, he thought frantically, I'd love to learn to use it on my students!

"Don't be ridiculous," she croaked, "I don't want to hear about it. This is a bathhouse for the gods. It's where they come to replenish themselves, and your friends gobbled of the food like pigs. They got what they deserve!" Why does this sound rehearsed? Snape thought. "And you, you should be punished, too. I could turn you into a pig, or maybe you would prefer a lump if coal?" Her eyes widen drastically at that before she hacked out a laugh. "Actually, I'm impressed you made it this far, but I'm sure you didn't do it alone. Who helped you? Why don't you tell me?"

The moment that his lips unzipped, he said, "I would like a job, ma'am."

"Don't start that again!" she snapped.

"I'm not leaving until I get a job," Snape replied forcefully.

"Don't start that," she growled before she rushed him, continually poking him in the gut with her sharp nails. "Why on earth would want to hire a smart aleck like you? Anyone can tell that you're sarcastic, temperamental, and you're two-faced liar. I have enough troublemakers working for me already. So, there's no work for you! Or maybe I should give you the hardest job I've got, and work you to your very last breath."

As she said that last sentence, her nails spidered their way up to his neck as she became uncomfortably close to him. His mind screamed, Personal space, personal space, personal space! the entire time. There was a dead silence before they both gasped at a loud thump. A large foot crashed through a door near the desk as a child started crying. Snape's eyes went large when she rushed over to the ruined door, complaining that he woke the baby. Baby? he thought frantically, How did that tiny woman have a baby _that_ big?!

"Why are you still here?" She snapped when she took notice of him again.

"I am _not _leaving until I get a job," Snape raised his voice.

"Okay! Okay," she caved before turning her attention to the child, "Here comes mommy!"

A few moments later, a pen and a contract flew toward him before everything started fixing itself. She had stated that that was his contract and to sign his life away before muttering about frustration over taking an oath about giving a job to anyone who asks. She griped over not enjoying being so nice, which he mentally muttered about her talking to the choir as he signed the asked if he was done before taking the contract from him.

"So, your name is Severus?" She asked as he nodded, "What a unique name!" He watched as she waved her hand before gripping her hand in a fist. "And it belongs to me, now. Now your name is Ves, do you got that? Answer me, Ves!"

"Uh... yes ma'am," Snape muttered.

"You called for me?" He heard Kohaku ask.

"This man signed a contract, set him up with a job," she said, waving them off.

Kohaku turned to him and asked, "What is your name?"

"But I..." Snape began until he remembered he had been given a new name, "It's Ves."

"Very well, follow me," Kohaku stated as he turned for the elevator. Snape followed him solemnly as he thought to himself how much he was going to hate his new name. For the first few minutes they rode the elevator quietly until Snape tried to talk to Kohaku only for Kohaku to look at him and place a finger to his lips. Instead of some two-faced hostility that he was expecting, he read a hidden message in that one action informing him that the walls had ears. Snape nodded as he wondered what his stay here would be like.

**...**

**Snape: Ves?! Ves is all you could come up with?**

**MsN: What?! I couldn't use the name that was originally used.**

**Alucard: She's right.**

**Chase: You're lucky, I nearly get killed in my story.**

**Snape grumbles:... Get back to work!**

**MsN: Yes, sir!**


End file.
